I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
