just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
