There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
