i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
