Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
