How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
