think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Jerry, you need to find god
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
