i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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