How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
