I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
