Got a toothbrush?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
