sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
