Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
