How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Fuck appropriateness.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
