Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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