Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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