what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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