I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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