I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
