also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
