He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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