Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
