bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
