Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
