Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
