I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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