I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
