I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
