They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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