i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
