So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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