some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you win again, gameday.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
