oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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