Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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