I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
