so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
