Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
