I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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