i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So squirting runs in the family.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
