break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
