He told me they were just razor bumps!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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