Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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