it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
