You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
