Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
