Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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