yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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