Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
