This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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