Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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