Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
