I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
