We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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