you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Randomize
